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Jokes Proverbs & Riddles!

Joke Of The Week

Definitely

Joe was an outlier of the MATH Party.
What did John say to him at their weekly gathering?
"Joe, you're an integral function to this body."
Explanation
An integral function is in the very middle of the formula for a definite integral.

54 Jokes

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28 Proverbs

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18 Riddles

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Latest Jokes

French Heckler

What did the French heckler yell out at the English leaders debate in Canada?
"Vous êtes Bon Hommes, Bon Hommes!"
Explanation
Translates to "You are good guys, good guys!" However, Bonhomme is a goofy Québec mascot. It's a play on words.

A Man Walks Into A Bar

A man walks into a bar, a man asks him, "Hey want to come over to my place tonight and have sex?"
He replies, "That sounds like anal sex."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
"I don't want anal sex."
Explanation
A man walks into a bar, **doink**.

Latest Proverbs

Sanctification

The closer a sheep is to the shepherd, the safer he is from the world.

Explanation

The more closely Christians follow The Good Shepherd Jesus, the less an effect the world will have on them. Wolves won’t harm us and we won’t get stuck in brush. Sanctification in a nutshell.

Fundamentals

Say The Church is out of touch, and no one bats an eye.
Mention the redistribution of wealth from The Pastor to the Ecclesia, and EVERYONE LOOSES THEIR MINDS!

Explanation

The modern day Church, in any denomination, looks nothing like the 1st century Church. See the first few chapters of Acts of The Apostles.

The Secret To Chess

The secret to Chess is deception.
To beat a Grand Master, play the fool.

Explanation

How do you defeat a very wise Chess Master? Use that wisdom against them; he knows many optimal routes and moves, so if you play the fool and use sub optimal routes for a time, you will enrage him. Once enraged and emotional, he will make misses, mistakes, and possibly blunders.

Latest Riddles

Marksmanship

I am a weapon.
No lighter than a feather.
Only pros can truly wield me.

What am I?

Answer/Explanation

The answer is Words.

  1. Words can kill.
  2. As light as the paper it’s written on.
  3. Prose.

Blowing Sand

I uses to be made out of stone.
Now I’m made out of glass.

What am I?

Answer/Explanation

The answer is a Tablet.
1) The Rosetta stone was made out of stone.
2) Modern tablet displays are made out of glass.

Rodent

Call me a rodent and I won’t get mad.
When I feel like new, I light up.
I love your hands

What am I?

Answer/Explanation

A computer mouse.
1) Inanimate objects can’t get mad.
2) Newer models of mice have RGB lighting.
3) Your hands use the mouse.

Cool Runnings

My name is cool.
I’m always running.
I shouldn’t be smart.
I’m full of delights.

What am I?

Answer/Explanation

The answer is a refrigerator.
1) Refrigerator means something that cools.
2) Is your refrigerator running?
3) S.M.A.R.T. fridges are stupid.
4) Fridges are full of delightful food, I guess.

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